if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
