i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize