Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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