we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize