there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
