Your tits are I can't wait for
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
