Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize