I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
