She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
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It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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