So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Terrible idea I love it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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