can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
