I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
