I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
