The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize