so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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