We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
