I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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