Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
