what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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