she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
