Don't you send me to vm
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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