He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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