I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
