Your tits are I can't wait for
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
