my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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