Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
