I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
