a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
