I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
