It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
