last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
