Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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