Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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