Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize
