He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
