He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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