I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
