I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
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