a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize