She's JV to your varsity
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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