You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
