woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
