I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
