...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
