suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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