One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
