i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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