im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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