idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
