I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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