why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
