Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.