it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything