Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I looked at my own cervix.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
