if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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