PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
