She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
