I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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