Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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