Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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