last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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