so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
