Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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